Sunday morning, after we’d all emerged half-alive from our various resting places (John, under the coffee table? Seriously?), we congregated in the garage…I mean office. That’s where the beer fridge is, making it the obvious meeting place. All in pretty bad shape from a solid 2-day bender, we started chatting about different hangover cures. The classics were presented, like mixing beer & clamato, bloody marry’s, etc. but we wanted to dig a little deeper.
We decided to start researching the strangest hangover cures, and where better to go fact-finding than the source of all truth, the Internet? Here are the strangest hangover cures we found:
#8. Lemon in the Armpits
Apparently some Puerto Ricans (and other citrusy fresh people) swear by this method. While I’ve read a few different opinions, the general belief is that you need to rub a slice of lemon in the armpit of your drinking arm before you start boozing. Out of lemons? Lime’s fine. I’m not so sure about this one, but either way you’ll be smelling fresh and fruity. Nothing attracts members of the opposite sex more than smelling like this fine lady:
#7. World’s Greatest Drunks
Now it’s clearly between the Russians and Irish for being the biggest drunks, so I’ll present a hangover cure from each.
The Russians claim all you have to do is drink the juice squeezed from a cucumber. I don’t know how you go about this, but Vodka literally means water in Russian, so who are we to second-guess them?
The Irish cure? Well they’re said “to bury the ailing person in moist river sand.” It’s not exactly clear if they keep the head above ground, or if this is simply the easiest way to get rid of the weakest drinkers.
#6. Sicilian Sausage
Now I’m pretty hesitant on this next one, but who am I to second guess the people who instituted organized crime? Apparently, Sicilians believe that all you have to do after a wild night of drinking is eat a dried bull’s penis. Yep, that’s it. Plain and simple.
#5. Jog ‘n’ Lick
Word on the street (according to BBC ) is that Native Americans would run around in the morning to get sweaty after a hard night on the village. Next step? Why the only logical thing: lick all that sweat up and spit it out, so you can get rid of all the ‘poison’ you’d just oozed out. Mmm, I can just taste the sticky malt liquor sweat right now!
#4. Kickin’ it old school
Now we all learned in school how much the Ancient Greeks & Romans knew how to party, what with the bath houses, orgies, and epic festivals. Well, after a wild night of debauchery Ancient Greeks were all about a nice breakfast of sheep lungs and two owl eggs.
The morning after, Romans would chow down on deep-fried canaries, which we can only assume were sold in big, family-size buckets.
While most of these require mixing together ridiculous ingredients, this hangover remedy simply requires a complete lack of logic… or lots of magic (magic trumps logic every time). Haitian voodoo people are said to recommend sticking 13 black pins in the cork of the offending bottle. Try it out, let me know how it goes.
#2. Mongolian Mary
The hangover cure for heavy drinkers in outer Mongolia is “a pair of pickled sheep’s eyes in tomato juice.” Not too well-versed in the finer aspects of this region or it’s people, I did an image search for “Mongolian” and this photo showed up:
According to Google, this is how Mongolians dress, so I’m not too surprised by the eyeballs thing. Question: do they put them on a stirring stick like olives?
#1. “2 Cowboys 1 Cup”
What did those lonely cowboys of the Wild West concoct to cure hangovers? A fresh, hot cup of tea? Oh, that’s nice, sounds like a pleasant little remedy. Wait, they put what in it? Rabbit droppings? Yes, the best part of waking up was rabbit shit in their cup.
If you all have any more bizarre hangover remedies, definitely leave a comment. We’re always looking for ways to eat pickled sheep eyes without being ridiculed by peers. I think the next step is testing some of these out for ourselves.