Found these brilliant 40oz inspired creations over at this blog. They’re art pieces created by Gary Garay, but I think these popsicles would sell like crazy. Remember being a kid and a breeze would bring you the whisper of a melody, just a note or two, and you and your friends bolted like rats inside to grab up some change from your dresser or the couch, because you knew what was on the way? Fuckin ice cream man! If you were lucky, that truck would come creeping down your street. Now imagine if you could have bought a popsicle that proudly displayed your affiliation to the west west y’all? Now if these 40 oz pops actually tasted like malt liquor then there’d really be something to these. Too bad booze doesn’t really freeze.

Winner: Magnum

Score:

St. Ides – BSB: 2

Magnum: 5

Though berry nice, beer is BEER.

Friday we held the first round of our Sweet 16 Malt Liquor Madness tourney, which started off with a bang. With basketball on the tube and over sixteen malt liquors to sample, none of us could think of a better way to start the weekend.
Los Nasty – aka the Cocaine Cowboy – was officiating the event, rockin’ snake skin boots and an air of authority. Seven judges, selected for the collective liver damage and distinguished palates, prepped themselves with nachos and some light stretching.
Scroll down and you’ll find each of the eight match-ups and the results for which malt liquors moved on to the Elite 8. Let me tell you, we were pretty surprised by some of the results. We all wrote down our bracketology predictions, thinking the usual suspects would definitely make it far along in the tourney. Well, we soon realized that blind taste tests can throw even the most seasoned beer fan completely off, especially with 16 different brews to sample. And by sample, we ended up throwing the 2 oz test taste out the window, going with the half cup. The end of the round was a little rowdy with some slightly clouded judging, but we’ll stick by the results (even though some were pretty controversial once the winners were announced).

Click any link or scroll down to see how each match-up went: Mickey’s vs Country Club, Colt 45 vs St. Ides Original, St. Ides Berry Special Brew vs Schlitz V.S.L., Four vs. Magnum, Hurricane High Gravity vs. Steel Reserve, Samichlaus vs King Cobra, Olde English vs Tilt (Green), Schlitz O.M.L. vs Sparks (black).

Here are the pics from the event:

[Show as slideshow]

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Featured:

Beer Bitch/Head Honcho – Los Nasty

Panel of Judges – Ginge the Baby Crane, 40Deez Nuh, Crippled Finger, 40ozphil & NoMassWood

Posse – Hot Mamacitas, Sleepy Chris, PoohWater Baby Wood

Winner: Magnum

Score:

Four: 1

Magnum: 4

Magnum made it through easily, with a 4-1 performance against Four. A couple of us were pleasantly surprised at how tasty Magnum is, and just as many were turned off by Four’s intense sugary flavor.

Winner: Sparks (black)

Score:

Schlitz O.M.L.: 2

Sparks (black): 3

Another fruity malt liquor makes it into the Elite 8, but this match up was much more heated. Many of the participants initially refused to drink the orange beverage in their cup, as they’d made personal pacts to not drink such swill. Two of us were Sparks fans, but one of the haters defected and pushed Sparks Black onward. Schlitz Original Malt Liquor was well received, but it sadly couldn’t compete.

Winner: Hurricane High Gravity

Score:

Hurricane High Gravity: 5

Steel Reserve: 0

All of us have a spot in our hearts for Steel Reserve, as it played a significant part in the bad decisions of our younger years. But the Steely just didn’t compare to Hurrican HG’s smooth (read: less severe) flavor. While we cleared our palates with pork rinds between each round, we couldn’t adjust to the intense taste of Steel Reserve. Hurricane moves on to the Elite 8.

Winner: St. Ides Berry Special Brew

Score:

St. Ides Berry Special Brew: 5

Schlitz V.S.L.: 0

We all were a little embarrassed to let a fruity malt liquor make it to the Elite 8, but the fact is St. Ides Berry Special Brew is pretty delicious. Schlitz VSL just wasn’t able to compete, and all five of the judges hesitantly lifted the Berry Brew cup as the victor.

Winner: Colt45

Score:

Colt45: 5

St. Ides Original: 0

This was not a fair fight. Colt 45 crushed St. Ides. If we were ranking these on krunk power, then St. Ides would win hands down. But the fact is it tastes like filthy swamp water syrup, at least after tasting other, less intense malt liquors. When you’ve only got $2 and change, it’s fine, but St. Ides had nothing on the Colt. The judges unanimously picked the Colt 45 as the winner.

Winner: Mickeys

Score:

Mickeys: 3

Country Club: 2

Details: This match was very close, it was a dead heat. Mickey’s barely pulled ahead at the end. We equated this to a game between #8 and #9 ranked teams, two teams closely paired and ready to battle. Mickey’s reigns supreme.

The brackets for 40cozy’s first annual Malt Liquor Madness have been drawn, and you can view them below or download the pdf if any of you at home would like to participate. In the coming weeks, there will only remain one dominant malt liquor champion from these sweet 16 competitors. The competition involves a blind tasting of two malt liquors and then a collective voting on which is superior and gets to move on to the next round. Here are the face offs in the first round, which will be held later this week (Thursdayish):

(Download the official bracket pdf: 40cozybracket2009.pdf) Below are the Sweet 16 contestants:

Mickey’s vs. Country Club

Colt 45 vs. St. Ides Original

Hurricane High Gravity vs. Steel Reserve

King Cobra vs. Samichlaus

Olde English vs. Tilt (Green)

Shlitz O.M.L. vs. Sparks (Black)

St. Ides Berry Special Brew vs. Schlits V.S.L.

Four vs. Magnum

…Here’s an image of the physical bracket we built:

Now some of you are going to say, “Why would you add those fruity tasting drinks like Sparks?” A few reasons. First, they technically are ‘malt liquors’ and as such we can’t discriminate. They let schools like Morehead State and East Tennessee State in the tourney, so who are we to get picky? There are many other great malt liquors out there, but after weeks of scouring the liquor stores of Southern California, these are the finest (and only) high gravity beverages around.

We’ll be posting soon after the first round, check back in to see which brew makes it to the Elite 8. If you feel your favorite malt liquor isn’t being represented, leave a comment and we’ll work them into next years contestants.