Grand Champion: King Cobra

Score:

King Cobra: 6

Colt45: 3

This was a very close competition and both malt liquors deserved to be in the Finals of our Malt Liquor Madness competition.  Both of these brew’s tone down the usual Malt-Liquor sweet taste and come out of the bottle tasting crisp and more beer-like that most of their brothers.  The King Cobra ended out on top with a slighlty better aftertaste.  In the end King Cobra is the Grand Champion of Malt Liquor Madness.

Winner: Colt45

Score:

Colt45: 9

Magnum: 0

This match wasn’t even close.  Magnum somehow made it to the final 4, it was up against Four and St. Ides – Berry Special Brew in the last two rounds but it was no competition for the crisp, refreshing Colt45.

Winner: Tilt (green)

Score:

Sparks: 3

Tilt: 4

When drinking cough syrup, are you particular about synthetics?

Winner: King Cobra

Score:

King Cobra: 6

Hurricane High Gravity: 1

Hurricane or queef?

Winner: Magnum

Score:

St. Ides – BSB: 2

Magnum: 5

Though berry nice, beer is BEER.

Friday we held the first round of our Sweet 16 Malt Liquor Madness tourney, which started off with a bang. With basketball on the tube and over sixteen malt liquors to sample, none of us could think of a better way to start the weekend.
Los Nasty – aka the Cocaine Cowboy – was officiating the event, rockin’ snake skin boots and an air of authority. Seven judges, selected for the collective liver damage and distinguished palates, prepped themselves with nachos and some light stretching.
Scroll down and you’ll find each of the eight match-ups and the results for which malt liquors moved on to the Elite 8. Let me tell you, we were pretty surprised by some of the results. We all wrote down our bracketology predictions, thinking the usual suspects would definitely make it far along in the tourney. Well, we soon realized that blind taste tests can throw even the most seasoned beer fan completely off, especially with 16 different brews to sample. And by sample, we ended up throwing the 2 oz test taste out the window, going with the half cup. The end of the round was a little rowdy with some slightly clouded judging, but we’ll stick by the results (even though some were pretty controversial once the winners were announced).

Click any link or scroll down to see how each match-up went: Mickey’s vs Country Club, Colt 45 vs St. Ides Original, St. Ides Berry Special Brew vs Schlitz V.S.L., Four vs. Magnum, Hurricane High Gravity vs. Steel Reserve, Samichlaus vs King Cobra, Olde English vs Tilt (Green), Schlitz O.M.L. vs Sparks (black).

Here are the pics from the event:

[Show as slideshow]

12►

Featured:

Beer Bitch/Head Honcho – Los Nasty

Panel of Judges – Ginge the Baby Crane, 40Deez Nuh, Crippled Finger, 40ozphil & NoMassWood

Posse – Hot Mamacitas, Sleepy Chris, PoohWater Baby Wood

Winner: Magnum

Score:

Four: 1

Magnum: 4

Magnum made it through easily, with a 4-1 performance against Four. A couple of us were pleasantly surprised at how tasty Magnum is, and just as many were turned off by Four’s intense sugary flavor.

Winner: Sparks (black)

Score:

Schlitz O.M.L.: 2

Sparks (black): 3

Another fruity malt liquor makes it into the Elite 8, but this match up was much more heated. Many of the participants initially refused to drink the orange beverage in their cup, as they’d made personal pacts to not drink such swill. Two of us were Sparks fans, but one of the haters defected and pushed Sparks Black onward. Schlitz Original Malt Liquor was well received, but it sadly couldn’t compete.

Winner: Hurricane High Gravity

Score:

Hurricane High Gravity: 5

Steel Reserve: 0

All of us have a spot in our hearts for Steel Reserve, as it played a significant part in the bad decisions of our younger years. But the Steely just didn’t compare to Hurrican HG’s smooth (read: less severe) flavor. While we cleared our palates with pork rinds between each round, we couldn’t adjust to the intense taste of Steel Reserve. Hurricane moves on to the Elite 8.

Winner: St. Ides Berry Special Brew

Score:

St. Ides Berry Special Brew: 5

Schlitz V.S.L.: 0

We all were a little embarrassed to let a fruity malt liquor make it to the Elite 8, but the fact is St. Ides Berry Special Brew is pretty delicious. Schlitz VSL just wasn’t able to compete, and all five of the judges hesitantly lifted the Berry Brew cup as the victor.