40oz Story Contest Winner #3

Paul C. from Tucson is one of the 3 finalists for GorillaMask’s 40oz story contest. One thing though, Paul: Half of our company is Latino and/or dating one, and we don’t appreciate anyone smacking our ladies up. Or any ladies for that matter. Keep that in mind or I’ll cut you, puto. Here’s his forty ounce story:

I was on a 40 oz. (Old English) tear that summer. My best friend and his Dad would pick me up an we would cruise the city drinking 40’s in his Dad’s ‘81 El Camino. This one particular night the Old Gold was hitting me hard. After I downed my first one, we stopped at a liquor store to get some more. My friend and his Dad go in the store and tell me to stay in the car. They enter and I say “Fuck this!” and head in the store myself with a big shit-eating grin on. I see the store clerk mopping so I pull an Ezel from Friday and fall flat on my ass on purpose and yell “I’m suing y’all!”, bringing down a couple of bags of chips with me. Needless to say, a scene was made. So my friend’s Dad (who we call Cheech cause, well, he looks like Cheech Marin) is buying the beers and making small talk to alleviate any tension I have created. He’s telling them about how he used to work down the street at a mechanic’s shop and how he “came here all the time” and I proceed to beligerantly say “Cheech, shut the fuck up. They don’t give a fuck about that shit. Buy the beer and let’s go!”. The only thing I hear after that is my best friend giggling and the clerk telling Cheech how much the beer is. So, after we get the beer, we cruise for a while we stop at a park so me and my friend can smoke a litlle doobie. (His Dad was cool like that). So, we get to smoking and Cheech, who was a little sad I made him look like a dick, starts fucking with me. We get to fucking around and it turns into a slap boxing match. I give him a good one to his kisser and he gets pissed and proceeds to chase me. He says he’s gonna leave me and he jumps in the El Camino. I jump in the back and try to give him a punch in the shoulder, miss, and end up giving him a good shot to the left side of his head. My friend Raul, his son, said his head actually rattled between my fist and the head rest. This was an accident of course but he couldn’t see that so he zoomed off and left me there to make my own way home. So I’m sitting on a bench thinking about how the fuck I’m gonna get home and some hussies in a convertible cruise by. They could tell I wasn’t a hobo so they asked me what I was doing here alone. So I tell them my side of the story and they say, in their best drunken latina accent, “Thass fucked uuup, A!” and offer to give me a ride home. So right when I’m about to jump in I hear the El Camino speeding around the corner coming back. Cheech and Raul came back to pick me up. As soon as they pull up they get tag-teamed by these to girls. One of them started kicking the El Camino and kept asking Cheech “Why you leave him for?”. The other was trying to get in Raul’s face and Raul starts holding her back by the tits. He’s smiling at me cause his palming this chick’s tits while she’s trying to yell at him for leaving me. The other girl is still kicking the car and yelling and Cheech leans over to me and says “If this bitch kicks the truck one more time, I’m gonna slap her ass”. She kicks the car and Cheech open hand slaps her in mid-kick. The brut force throws her balance off and she falls flat on her ass. I didn’t think he’d do it, but he did and I love him for it. So she hits the ground and looks at Cheech shocked as fuck and says “Why the fuck you heet me for, A?” and the other girl starts yelling the same shit. We jump in the El Camino and drive away leaving the two gangster bitches at the park still wondering why the fuck Cheech hit them for, A.

I might let her kick my El Camino.

Tags: 40oz story contest

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 at 1:02 pm and is filed under 40's, drinking, funny, story time. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.