If you were thinking to yourself: “Now these 40 oz koozies look pretty awesome, but are they going to withstand the continual abuse that my wasted self commits upon all my possessions, relationships and surroundings?” Well, the answer is a resounding “hells yes.” While our livers and girlfriends aren’t thanking us, you’ll be happy we’ve done such rigorous first-hand testing when your 40cozy performs like a champ under any and all conditions.

What really sets the 40cozy apart from any other beer koozies is the handle. The 40cozy is going to save your drunk ass money in the long run and here’s why:

1. You won’t be pouring out any warm beer since that malt liquor goodness will stay cold to the last drop.
2. No more dropping or misplacing your 40 thanks to the handle keeping that bad boy in your grasp even when it probably shouldn’t be.

Yes, he really was passed out like that. No, I don’t know where to buy wool-lined denim vests. Sorry. Go buy yourself and a buddy a 40cozy 40oz beer koozie right now!

Now, I’m hoping if you are at this site you’re quite familiar with the wonderful intricacies of the Brass Monkey. If not then don’t fret, because you’ll soon be enjoying these next Sunday brunch with your yacht club chums.

According to Wikipedia, “brass monkey” refers to an English folk band, comic book villain, a 1948 film, and is a colloquial term meaning something solid and inert that can only be affected by extremes, or meaning an extreme of cold. However, malt liquor enthusiasts and the Beastie Boys will all agree that the brass monkey is a magnificent street cocktail, principal ingredient: forty water. Other lesser known nicknames are beermosa and fotemosa.

Necessary ingredients: 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor, orange juice (or orange-like drink, i.e. Tampico)

The next steps get a little complicated, so bear with me. First, drink the 40oz beverage down to the top of the label. Next, take orange juice and pour into the top of the malt liquor bottle until filled to the brim. Final step: drink.

Enjoy this fine creation on the Lord’s day, for that is when such dandy concoctions were meant to be consumed to glorify the Creator of malt liquor and that orange-colored sugar water, Tampico.

I’m not sure what it is, but men have this irrational desire to equip every gadget and appliance with a beer bottle opener. Sandals, BBQ spatulas, wheelchairs, staplers, steering wheels…well some of those I made up, but you get the point. One handy little gadget for those beer swillers who decided to purchase an iPod shuffle (cheap ass) is The Bevy. Behold:

You can purchase one of the bad boys at Firebox for 15 bucks. So if you feel like a pussy for owning an iPod Shuffle, you can earn some street cred with this kick ass case. This gadget actually won the 2007 MacWorld design contest, whatever that means.

In my days before the 40cozy and after college I did a lot of world-wandering. I’ve backpacked through four continents and over twenty-five countries on a very limited budget. Along the way I drank a lot of different things but probably the most memorable was snake wine. It was during my days in Nam, taking a tour up the Mekong Delta that I happened upon this wonderful beverage.

Snake wine is made by taking your best Vietnamese whiskey, and then going out in the jungle and finding a snake. Along the way you pick up any roots, herbs, scorpions and whatever other tasty tidbits you want to add. You take your snake, whiskey and random goodies, put them all together in a great big jar and let them sit there covered for about six months. At the end of six months its ready to drink.

The Vietnamese say snake wine is good for all kinds of things. Its the medicine of the people. Some say its “good for your banana”, while others say it cures rheumatism and arthritis. Others just tell you it gets you nice and drunk. There is no question, however, that after drinking snake wine you feel it. You feel it in your veins and in your mouth and in your head. Everything has a hard-to-explain buzz to it. And the flavor… what can I say about the flavor? Probably the best way to describe it is it tastes like rotten scales and whiskey. Thats a funny thing about snake wine; if you take a shot of it, you’ll probably agree that its the worst thing you’ve ever tasted in your whole life. Everyone who takes a shot agrees on that, but then about ten minutes later you’ll find yourself strangely yearning to take another.

I drank snake wine when I was in Vietnam but I’ve also had it back here in California. I got a couple bottles through customs and in the early days of 40cozy.com we cracked open one at a party. All of the 40cozy crew that was present took a shot and its been in our veins ever since. A few days after that bottle was opened and everyone was still feeling it, one of our designers, Carlos, gave me a gift. He had stuffed a rubber lizard into a 40 as a memento to the snake wine, a California version of a drink none of us will forget.

This man is a bad ass! At 57 years old, I hope I’ll be able to party half as hard as this guy.

While I haven’t yet seen the newest installment in the Rambo movie series, I already know it’s going to rock. While critics only gave it 1 star, how can a movie suck with the slogan “Heroes Never Die, They Just Reload”?

The genius Todd Levin created a drinking game that will help everyone forget the fact that there is absolutely no plot to this deathfest. Here are some of my favorite rules:

• Someone mentions John Rambo’s green beret background: Nod serenly and knowingly drink and say, to no one in particular, “They brought this on themselves. They created John Rambo.”
• We see a pair of empty boots still smoking as evidence of death by explosion: Fill your shoe with beer, drink

Check out the rest of the rules to the Rambo Drinking Game. This game requires a case of beer and 2-3 tequila bottles to complete and is only recommended for the most seasoned drinkers. That’s at least four 40’s.

I kinda dig this sweet inside out martini glass I found on the web. It seems a lot less breakable than the regular kind, which is important after a few martinis. Its also pretty cool looking, however at $55 I’ll stick to 40’s for now.

As we all prepare for New Year’s, I’d like to share with you a great article on CNN retelling some of history’s greatest drinking stories. Consider it inspiration for tomorrow evening. My favorite one discusses the ongoing battle of an Indian army outpost that constantly has to deal with a herd of elephants raiding their base and drinking their rum. Plastered pachyderms are much funnier in theory, I’d imagine.

According to the Guiness Book of World Records, Steven Petrosino is the Beer Chugging World Champion. On June 22, 1977 he drank 1 liter of beer in 1.3 seconds at the Gingerbreadman in Carlise, PA.

Check him out 26 years later, showing how he can still throw’em back: