Hold your breath:

hehe.

Go on over and check out the 25 clever pick up lines at Sloshspot. I’ve implemented the polar bear one, gotta have a sense of humor for that one though. You’ll be thanking them if one of these lines hits big… or cursing them after a drink is poured in your lap. Here’s one for the bold:

Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. He’d like your phone number. He wants to know where he can get a hold of me in the morning.

The fine people at Sloshspot have created a website that can always answer the question “Where should I go out tonight?” When 4:30 starts rolling around, use that last half hour at the office to actually do something, like utilize their targeted search for nightlife and entertainment to figure out how you’ll regain some of the life that monotonous day at work sucked out of you.

I need to buy one of these:

The only thing missing on this robot is a disco ball.

Sunday morning, after we’d all emerged half-alive from our various resting places (John, under the coffee table? Seriously?), we congregated in the garage…I mean office. That’s where the beer fridge is, making it the obvious meeting place. All in pretty bad shape from a solid 2-day bender, we started chatting about different hangover cures. The classics were presented, like mixing beer & clamato, bloody marry’s, etc. but we wanted to dig a little deeper.
We decided to start researching the strangest hangover cures, and where better to go fact-finding than the source of all truth, the Internet? Here are the strangest hangover cures we found:

#8. Lemon in the Armpits

Apparently some Puerto Ricans (and other citrusy fresh people) swear by this method. While I’ve read a few different opinions, the general belief is that you need to rub a slice of lemon in the armpit of your drinking arm before you start boozing. Out of lemons? Lime’s fine. I’m not so sure about this one, but either way you’ll be smelling fresh and fruity. Nothing attracts members of the opposite sex more than smelling like this fine lady:

(more…)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce to you the “Mug Shot Drinking Game.”  This makes for a great party game and always ends in a few hurt feelings, but then thats the point of a party drinking game right?

How it works:

1. Get 4-7 people gathered around a computer so everyone can see the screen.

2. Make sure everyone has their favorite drink in their hands, preferably 40’s with cozies.

3. Load up this slideshow of 250 awesome mugshots.

4. Go through the list and for each image decide who in the group the character in the mugshot looks most like.  You can vote, shout out names, point… whatever works for your group.

5. Person most like mugshot has to drink.

6. The game ends when somebody starts crying.

Enjoy.

Campussqueeze.com has a great post about 12 Beers You Should Only Drink In College.  They cover some of the greats such as Natural Ice, Schmidts, and, one of our favorites, the blue-ribbon-awarded Pabst.  We’re a little sorry they didn’t include any of our favorite malt-liquors.  Of course you should be drinking malt liquor well after/before college so Olde English doesn’t really belong on this list.

Chances are that if you can figure out how to use your computer, you’re not drunk enough to need this blood alcohol content calculator. However maybe you are an extremely highly-functioning drunk like myself. Well if you’re curious how much of the juice is running through them veins, then check out RUPissed?

While it’s in that damn unAmerican metric system, it still works- and they’ve got a converter for us freedom lovers. Well, most of the time it’s accurate. It told me that after drinking 15 beers in 3 hours “you are probably unconcious,” which I currently believe is false. The best thing about this is to figure out what your typical night entails and then calculate how high your BAC will be. If you’ve crushed 2/3 of a 30 pack, it might tell you that it’s not such a good idea to put together your most recent Ikea purchase.

Cracked.com has an article up highlighting 5 very cheap, very dangerous ways to get drunk.   Check it out: Nectar of the Broke: The Worlds 5 Worst Ways to Get Drunk.  My favorite from the list is probably Pruno.  I’ll have to try that sometime.

These all sound pretty nasty but I feel like maybe i really haven’t lived life since I haven’t tried any of them.  Well, I guess I’ll always have my Snake Wine…

If you were thinking to yourself: “Now these 40 oz koozies look pretty awesome, but are they going to withstand the continual abuse that my wasted self commits upon all my possessions, relationships and surroundings?” Well, the answer is a resounding “hells yes.” While our livers and girlfriends aren’t thanking us, you’ll be happy we’ve done such rigorous first-hand testing when your 40cozy performs like a champ under any and all conditions.

What really sets the 40cozy apart from any other beer koozies is the handle. The 40cozy is going to save your drunk ass money in the long run and here’s why:

1. You won’t be pouring out any warm beer since that malt liquor goodness will stay cold to the last drop.
2. No more dropping or misplacing your 40 thanks to the handle keeping that bad boy in your grasp even when it probably shouldn’t be.

Yes, he really was passed out like that. No, I don’t know where to buy wool-lined denim vests. Sorry. 

Now, I’m hoping if you are at this site you’re quite familiar with the wonderful intricacies of the Brass Monkey. If not then don’t fret, because you’ll soon be enjoying these next Sunday brunch with your yacht club chums.

According to Wikipedia, “brass monkey” refers to an English folk band, comic book villain, a 1948 film, and is a colloquial term meaning something solid and inert that can only be affected by extremes, or meaning an extreme of cold. However, malt liquor enthusiasts and the Beastie Boys will all agree that the brass monkey is a magnificent street cocktail, principal ingredient: forty water. Other lesser known nicknames are beermosa and fotemosa.

Necessary ingredients: 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor, orange juice (or orange-like drink, i.e. Tampico)

The next steps get a little complicated, so bear with me. First, drink the 40oz beverage down to the top of the label. Next, take orange juice and pour into the top of the malt liquor bottle until filled to the brim. Final step: drink.

Enjoy this fine creation on the Lord’s day, for that is when such dandy concoctions were meant to be consumed to glorify the Creator of malt liquor and that orange-colored sugar water, Tampico.