Right as the party is bumping, you hear some uproar outside from your disgruntled party-goers, only to find some asshole thief has jacked your keg tap!

The brilliant folks at KeepaTap.com have created a surefire way to keep your tap secure and the keg flowing. For only $9.99, the KeepaTap Keg Tap Lock comes with 125% money-back guarantee.

Made from high density polypropylene, the same material as bowling balls, you can kick back and relax at your houseparty knowing that tap’s going nowhere.

Now, you only have to worry about noise complaints, broken furniture, the rest of your valuables, fights, wasted guests, and people hooking up in your bed.

….oh, and people stealing the entire keg – which I have been witness to in the past, though you gotta hand it to them if they can pull that off.

So go buy a KeepaTap keg tap lock and ensure your next party is a success to the last drop. And make sure to put one of the keys in a safe place, so your blacked out self doesn’t ruin things!

A Hand-blown-glass, upside-down beer bottle.  Its called hopsidedown and it reminds me a lot of one of our earlier christmas gifts for drunks selections.  As with those other glasses, the main problem with this is you can only pour about half a bottle of beer into these little things.  That’s fine if you’re a 12-year-old, but I’m only getting one of these when they make a version modeled after a 40.

I happened upon one of these bad boys at a party, and this is definitely the way to throw back a few beers. From across the room, I saw this gorgeous shotgun can opener in action. There was a radiant glow surrounding her as she crushed a beer in 4 seconds. I knew it was love at first site.

The fine people at ShotgunParty.com have created a brilliant keychain with a bottle opener and a hook that opens cans for shotgunning. If you don’t know what that is, watch this video:

From what I’ve seen out there in the field, the art of shotgunning a beer is slipping away, losing its ground with the younger generations. And it’s pretty damn embarassing when you see someone try to open a beer for shotgunning purposes, usually by jabbing a knife into it and hosing everything within 5 yards in beer spray. That’s why this keychain is so damned handy. It’s pretty solid at minimizing the spray, plus people really dig on it. You can pick 3 up for $10, which is worth it just to save all that lost beer from your amateur shotgun prepping.

Yeah, it’s everything you ever wanted. An R2D2 filled with beer! With a 30 ft range, you can deliver beers to your lounging homies by barely lifting a finger. This beaut eliminates those awkward minutes of empty beer holding when nobody wants to get up for a fresh beverage because they know they’ll have to get one for everybody.

It compacts for storage, can be carried with a strap, holds up to 12 beer bottles…if this thing could make nachos I’d be in love.

Pick it up for $69.99. Impress your geeky friends, or replace your subservient girl/boy friend.

Now I know you’re thinking, “How would a wine glass interest me, Joe Six-Pack?” Well shut up and think about this: there will be a time your uncultured ass will need to drink something other than Milwaukee’s Best. Especially around the holidays, with company parties and family gatherings every other day. I’m not sure how this wine glass is going to make you seem any more classy, however you will be able to honestly tell the missus that you only had two glasses at the party.

No longer feel guilty about your single glass before bed with the 750mL. Fill that glass up with a bottle of Night Train and relish in your newly found sophistication. For sale at Vat19.com for $11.95.