Go on over and check out the 25 clever pick up lines at Sloshspot. I’ve implemented the polar bear one, gotta have a sense of humor for that one though. You’ll be thanking them if one of these lines hits big… or cursing them after a drink is poured in your lap. Here’s one for the bold:

Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. He’d like your phone number. He wants to know where he can get a hold of me in the morning.

The fine people at Sloshspot have created a website that can always answer the question “Where should I go out tonight?” When 4:30 starts rolling around, use that last half hour at the office to actually do something, like utilize their targeted search for nightlife and entertainment to figure out how you’ll regain some of the life that monotonous day at work sucked out of you.

I need to buy one of these:

The only thing missing on this robot is a disco ball.

We get emails all the time from disgruntled drunks stating, “Dude, I totally thought up the 40oz koozie like freshman year. Screw you, bro.” The thing is, we understand, because the same bullshit happens to us on a regular basis. Too many times have we felt like the characters in Knocked Up when they come to realize Mr. Skin’s Nude Celebrity Movie site had been around for years. Well, last weekend was no different.

We were a few beers deep, the creative juices flowing. Someone mentioned making a giant beer koozie for a keg, and we were already deep in the product development when I typed it in the ole google machine. Well, well, what do you know? Hats off to the other mildly inventive folks at Kegger Industries for creating the Keg Coat. 

Chances are that if you can figure out how to use your computer, you’re not drunk enough to need this blood alcohol content calculator. However maybe you are an extremely highly-functioning drunk like myself. Well if you’re curious how much of the juice is running through them veins, then check out RUPissed?

While it’s in that damn unAmerican metric system, it still works- and they’ve got a converter for us freedom lovers. Well, most of the time it’s accurate. It told me that after drinking 15 beers in 3 hours “you are probably unconcious,” which I currently believe is false. The best thing about this is to figure out what your typical night entails and then calculate how high your BAC will be. If you’ve crushed 2/3 of a 30 pack, it might tell you that it’s not such a good idea to put together your most recent Ikea purchase.

If I tally up the number of phones I’ve had to replace in the past three years due to drunken mishaps, the total is 5. Whether it involves getting pushed/falling into a pool, “accidentally” spiking it after the Chargers score a touchdown, or being tackled into the ocean at the 40Cozy Labor Day party- I am horrible with phones.

Casio created a solution for drunkards everywhere: the G’zOne (pronounced “jeez-one”). Well now they have a new version called the Type S. Intended for the military, I think it is a perfect fit for raging drinkers with little disregard for their possessions. Take a look at this bad boy:

Not that you need all the Type-S’s features (but you never know where you’ll end up after a bender), but it’s shock and dust resistant and it’s even freeze proof- in case you lose it while stumbling home in the snow. As it says on their site, you can drop it, dunk it, shake it- does that mean you can spike it? I’ll assume yes.

The phone can even last up to 30 minutes in a meter of water- meaning you can surf with it, take it whitewater rafting, or have it in your pocket when your wasted self falls off the houseboat at Lake Havasu. Jen and Eric at Gearlog even tried to make calls in their pool, and it worked! Well, kinda…all they heard was mumbling- but hey, that’s pretty awesome.

It’s even got GPS so you can figure out where you’re at when you wake up in a field with no noticeable landmarks in sight. So yeah, I’m sold on this phone.