We get emails all the time from disgruntled drunks stating, “Dude, I totally thought up the 40oz koozie like freshman year. Screw you, bro.” The thing is, we understand, because the same bullshit happens to us on a regular basis. Too many times have we felt like the characters in Knocked Up when they come to realize Mr. Skin’s Nude Celebrity Movie site had been around for years. Well, last weekend was no different.

We were a few beers deep, the creative juices flowing. Someone mentioned making a giant beer koozie for a keg, and we were already deep in the product development when I typed it in the ole google machine. Well, well, what do you know? Hats off to the other mildly inventive folks at Kegger Industries for creating the Keg Coat. 

Chances are that if you can figure out how to use your computer, you’re not drunk enough to need this blood alcohol content calculator. However maybe you are an extremely highly-functioning drunk like myself. Well if you’re curious how much of the juice is running through them veins, then check out RUPissed?

While it’s in that damn unAmerican metric system, it still works- and they’ve got a converter for us freedom lovers. Well, most of the time it’s accurate. It told me that after drinking 15 beers in 3 hours “you are probably unconcious,” which I currently believe is false. The best thing about this is to figure out what your typical night entails and then calculate how high your BAC will be. If you’ve crushed 2/3 of a 30 pack, it might tell you that it’s not such a good idea to put together your most recent Ikea purchase.

Cracked.com has an article up highlighting 5 very cheap, very dangerous ways to get drunk.   Check it out: Nectar of the Broke: The Worlds 5 Worst Ways to Get Drunk.  My favorite from the list is probably Pruno.  I’ll have to try that sometime.

These all sound pretty nasty but I feel like maybe i really haven’t lived life since I haven’t tried any of them.  Well, I guess I’ll always have my Snake Wine…

If you were thinking to yourself: “Now these 40 oz koozies look pretty awesome, but are they going to withstand the continual abuse that my wasted self commits upon all my possessions, relationships and surroundings?” Well, the answer is a resounding “hells yes.” While our livers and girlfriends aren’t thanking us, you’ll be happy we’ve done such rigorous first-hand testing when your 40cozy performs like a champ under any and all conditions.

What really sets the 40cozy apart from any other beer koozies is the handle. The 40cozy is going to save your drunk ass money in the long run and here’s why:

1. You won’t be pouring out any warm beer since that malt liquor goodness will stay cold to the last drop.
2. No more dropping or misplacing your 40 thanks to the handle keeping that bad boy in your grasp even when it probably shouldn’t be.

Yes, he really was passed out like that. No, I don’t know where to buy wool-lined denim vests. Sorry. 

We’ve all thought it while out for drinks: “Why do I have to wait for the waitress to bring us another pitcher? Why can’t we just have a beer tap right here at the table?” Well, apparently this dream has become reality in Atlanta. This sports bar is definitely not the first of it’s kind (these tap systems have been in South America and Europe for nearly a decade), but God bless 26 yr old Jeff Libby for bringing his version of this brilliant invention to the U S of A!

The Table Tender will hopefully be coming to a sports bar near you very soon.  Along with all the genius creations of the past few decades, this just might be the greatest. Gone are the days of having to communicate or even get off your ass for a beer. 

This girl’s got talent!

So i was bored on the internet as usual and thought it was a good idea to type “beer dog” into google.  Look what i found:

Thats right ladies and gentlemen.  Beer for dogs.

Here at 40cozy we’ve always been interested in product and packaging design, after all thats kind-of what we do.  Anyway, i was surfing the nets the other day and I came across the greatest packaging design ever created.  Its for pudding and its from Japan of course, those bastards always beat us at everything.

Beer pong has become a national phenomenon played by drunks from coast to coast. Over the four years at college I must have played over 500 beer pong games, although that somehow wasn’t enough to make me any good. Well in all that time I didn’t manage to run into the guys of OnFire Beer Pong.

I came into contact with these cats through a college buddy- it turns out these young gents (fellow alumni) are working hard to promote the sport and provide the best beer pong tables around. Their tables are regulation size but still very light (only 20 lbs [less weight than a 30 pack]) and collapsible so you can carry it with you anywhere. Being able to transport your table is clutch as you can challenge fools anytime you fancy. Even cooler is they give you the option of creating a custom design for the table top, meaning you can get whatever you want immortalized on your next beer pong table: your college logo, a pic of your roommate’s mom, etc. I want to cover my table with something beautiful and awe-inspiring, so I’ve chosen a flattering self portrait:

Now, I’m hoping if you are at this site you’re quite familiar with the wonderful intricacies of the Brass Monkey. If not then don’t fret, because you’ll soon be enjoying these next Sunday brunch with your yacht club chums.

According to Wikipedia, “brass monkey” refers to an English folk band, comic book villain, a 1948 film, and is a colloquial term meaning something solid and inert that can only be affected by extremes, or meaning an extreme of cold. However, malt liquor enthusiasts and the Beastie Boys will all agree that the brass monkey is a magnificent street cocktail, principal ingredient: forty water. Other lesser known nicknames are beermosa and fotemosa.

Necessary ingredients: 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor, orange juice (or orange-like drink, i.e. Tampico)

The next steps get a little complicated, so bear with me. First, drink the 40oz beverage down to the top of the label. Next, take orange juice and pour into the top of the malt liquor bottle until filled to the brim. Final step: drink.

Enjoy this fine creation on the Lord’s day, for that is when such dandy concoctions were meant to be consumed to glorify the Creator of malt liquor and that orange-colored sugar water, Tampico.