This girl’s got talent!

So i was bored on the internet as usual and thought it was a good idea to type “beer dog” into google.  Look what i found:

Thats right ladies and gentlemen.  Beer for dogs.  I think we all know what the next step is here, malt liquor for pussies.

Here at 40cozy we’ve always been interested in product and packaging design, after all thats kind-of what we do.  Anyway, i was surfing the nets the other day and I came across the greatest packaging design ever created.  Its for pudding and its from Japan of course, those bastards always beat us at everything.

Beer pong has become a national phenomenon played by drunks from coast to coast. Over the four years at college I must have played over 500 beer pong games, although that somehow wasn’t enough to make me any good. Well in all that time I didn’t manage to run into the guys of OnFire Beer Pong.

I came into contact with these cats through a college buddy- it turns out these young gents (fellow alumni) are working hard to promote the sport and provide the best beer pong tables around. Their tables are regulation size but still very light (only 20 lbs [less weight than a 30 pack]) and collapsible so you can carry it with you anywhere. Being able to transport your table is clutch as you can challenge fools anytime you fancy. Even cooler is they give you the option of creating a custom design for the table top, meaning you can get whatever you want immortalized on your next beer pong table: your college logo, a pic of your roommate’s mom, etc. I want to cover my table with something beautiful and awe-inspiring, so I’ve chosen a flattering self portrait:

Now, I’m hoping if you are at this site you’re quite familiar with the wonderful intricacies of the Brass Monkey. If not then don’t fret, because you’ll soon be enjoying these next Sunday brunch with your yacht club chums.

According to Wikipedia, “brass monkey” refers to an English folk band, comic book villain, a 1948 film, and is a colloquial term meaning something solid and inert that can only be affected by extremes, or meaning an extreme of cold. However, malt liquor enthusiasts and the Beastie Boys will all agree that the brass monkey is a magnificent street cocktail, principal ingredient: forty water. Other lesser known nicknames are beermosa and fotemosa.

Necessary ingredients: 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor, orange juice (or orange-like drink, i.e. Tampico)

The next steps get a little complicated, so bear with me. First, drink the 40oz beverage down to the top of the label. Next, take orange juice and pour into the top of the malt liquor bottle until filled to the brim. Final step: drink.

Enjoy this fine creation on the Lord’s day, for that is when such dandy concoctions were meant to be consumed to glorify the Creator of malt liquor and that orange-colored sugar water, Tampico.

Before you plan your next trip, you should consider how far you’ll be able to get with your cash flow. I always try and pick destinations with favorable conversion rates (difficult these days) so I can rage as much as my bank account will allow.

I’ve found a fantastic site that will help you figure out your future beer-guzzling destination: www.pintprice.com. With this handy site you can figure out the price of a pint in any location across the world.

Why is this important? A couple years ago, I went to Ireland on a wild booze/rugby tour and figured I’d be fine with $600 in spending cash for a week. If I’d had this site to extrapolate my expenses solely for beer consumption, I’d have realized $600 doesn’t go very far when you’re dealing with Euros. And add to that the discovery of how delicious Guiness is in Ireland, straight from the source. And that I was drinking a dozen pints a night… you get the point, plan ahead and allocate enough money to the great conquest of drinking every beer that country has to offer. Drink strong!

Sand & Cotton has put together a great collection of malt liquor commercials with youtube videos of each.  Here is one of the crazier ones for Shlitz Malt Liquor:

Last weekend I headed up to San Luis Obispo to party with the infamous Central Pacific Ski Club. We sponsor these wild hooligans as they definitely represent the 40Cozy lifestyle. The party had a white trash theme and we got things rolling around noon. My initial goal was to maintain a semi-professional demeanor and only have a single forty…but you know how things get once that malt liquor goodness hits your lips.

Now I wouldn’t say things got out of hand, but these cats sure know how to party. 40Cozy was a big hit and the cozies actually worked perfectly for Edward 40 Hands, which suprisingly hadn’t been tested yet by our dedicated R & D department. Here are some of the lovely young coeds who participated in the festivities:

The day ended a little hazy as I’d consumed five 40oz beverages by the end of the party. I know, I have a hard time believing it also. 40Cozy does not endorse drinking such massive quantities of beer. Besides, we like even numbers- so stick with four. Two for the newcomers.

If I tally up the number of phones I’ve had to replace in the past three years due to drunken mishaps, the total is 5. Whether it involves getting pushed/falling into a pool, “accidentally” spiking it after the Chargers score a touchdown, or being tackled into the ocean at the 40Cozy Labor Day party- I am horrible with phones.

Casio created a solution for drunkards everywhere: the G’zOne (pronounced “jeez-one”). Well now they have a new version called the Type S. Intended for the military, I think it is a perfect fit for raging drinkers with little disregard for their possessions. Take a look at this bad boy:

Not that you need all the Type-S’s features (but you never know where you’ll end up after a bender), but it’s shock and dust resistant and it’s even freeze proof- in case you lose it while stumbling home in the snow. As it says on their site, you can drop it, dunk it, shake it- does that mean you can spike it? I’ll assume yes.

The phone can even last up to 30 minutes in a meter of water- meaning you can surf with it, take it whitewater rafting, or have it in your pocket when your wasted self falls off the houseboat at Lake Havasu. Jen and Eric at Gearlog even tried to make calls in their pool, and it worked! Well, kinda…all they heard was mumbling- but hey, that’s pretty awesome.

It’s even got GPS so you can figure out where you’re at when you wake up in a field with no noticeable landmarks in sight. So yeah, I’m sold on this phone.

I’m not sure what it is, but men have this irrational desire to equip every gadget and appliance with a beer bottle opener. Sandals, BBQ spatulas, wheelchairs, staplers, steering wheels…well some of those I made up, but you get the point. One handy little gadget for those beer swillers who decided to purchase an iPod shuffle (cheap ass) is The Bevy. Behold:

You can purchase one of the bad boys at Firebox for 15 bucks. So if you feel like a pussy for owning an iPod Shuffle, you can earn some street cred with this kick ass case. This gadget actually won the 2007 MacWorld design contest, whatever that means.